And That Part Never Changes
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: "But then you get to see a baby heal, and they get to go home, and you just imagine this whole life that they're gonna live. Well, there's nothing better than that." Addison and Alex find Addison's words put to the test.
1. Laura Grey

A/N: This story started out as a one-shot, but it got kind of long, so I decided to break it up into smaller chapters. But since all the chapters kind of work together, I figured it would be best to post them all at once (!). I hope you like this story, and thanks so much for reading! :)

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><p><em><strong>And That Part Never Changes<strong>_

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><p><strong><em>Laura Grey<em>**

"Karev," Addison said softly, as she entered the NICU. She wasn't expecting to find her intern in there – especially not standing over Laura Grey's incubator, gently stroking the baby's hair.

Alex looked up in surprise. "Oh, hey," he said, removing his hand from the incubator. "I was, uh, I was checking…the baby's capillary refills," he lied, doing his best to look professional.

"No, that's good, that's good," Addison said, as she joined him by the incubator. "We all need a little human contact from time to time."

"It sucks," Alex muttered, looking down at Laura. "It's like she hasn't had a chance to deserve this, you know?"

Addison looked at Alex. "Is that why you want to go into plastics?" she asked softly. "'Cause people sign up for the pain they get."

Alex sighed. "For the most part, they do, yeah."

"You're right," she said quietly. "It does suck watching them struggle. And that part never stops sucking. But then you get to see a baby heal and, um, they get to go home, and you just imagine this whole life that they're gonna live. Well, there's nothing better than that," she finished with a smile. "And that part never changes."

What happened next was a haze. One minute Alex was confessing to giving Sloan a vanilla latte on purpose, the next, he and Addison were almost kissing, and then, suddenly, he was awkwardly walking out of the NICU, as they each awkwardly apologized for almost kissing each other – although neither was really sorry.

He spent the next couple of days avoiding her. When she finally asked him why she hadn't seen him the last few days, he didn't mention the almost kiss – just muttered something about covering the pit, getting pulled into an emergency appy, and a ruptured spleen.

But she did bring up the almost kiss; just not in the way he had hoped. She apologized for it – called it the result of a 'crazy week.' And that stung. So, he changed the topic back to the baby in the incubator in front of them. He wasn't about to forgive her for almost kissing him. If he did, that would mean that there was something to be sorry for – and there wasn't.

He had managed to avoid her for the rest of the day but, when he went to Joe's after work for a drink, he saw her sitting at the bar, drinking a martini. He knew that he didn't have to sit down next to her…there were plenty of other seats open…but he sat down next to her anyway.

"Karev," Addison said, looking up from her martini. "What are you doing here?"

Joe handed Alex a beer, and Alex smiled his thanks before turning his attention back to Addison. "The same thing that most people do when they go to a bar," he teased. "I'm having a drink."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I know that. I just, I figured that you'd want to grab a drink with your friends…not your boss."

Alex shrugged. "Laura went home today."

Addison nodded.

"What kind of life do you think she's gonna have?"

Addison looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you said the other day that when you watch a baby heal, and get to go home, you imagine this whole life that they're gonna live. So, I guess I was just wondering about Laura and, uh, the type of life that she's gonna have."

Addison smiled; Alex Karev never failed to surprise her. "I think she'll take gymnastics and, I don't know, maybe tennis. And she'll do well in school. Meredith seems smart, so brains probably run in the family. She'll fall in love young, just like her parents did, but she'll put off getting married until after she's finishes law school."

"It sounds like a pretty good life," Alex smiled.

"It does," Addison agreed.

"And you gave her that."

"Hey, you helped." Addison insisted.

"You can't do that working in plastics," Alex said quietly. "You can't just give a person a whole life like that."

Addison shook her head. "No."

The two sat in silence for a while, stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't watching.

"So, what's on our schedule tomorrow?" Alex asked, breaking the silence.

"I have two c-sections," Addison said. "You're probably getting coffee for Sloan...maybe dry-cleaning, if you're lucky."

"Not if I stay with you. On your service," Alex amended quickly.

"You really want that?" Addison asked.

Alex gave her his trademark, crooked smile. "Yeah. I do."

"Well, I guess, as of now, you're officially back on my service," Addison said, raising her martini glass.

Alex lightly tapped his beer bottle against her glass and smiled. "It's good to be back."

They went back to drinking in silence, each secretly pleased with the agreement that they'd reached.

"You know…you were right," Alex said thoughtfully, after a moment.

Addison chuckled. "I'm not surprised, but what was I right about?"

Alex gave her a soft smile. "I missed you."

"You missed my service," Addison corrected him.

Alex shook his head. "No. I missed you."


	2. Dylan Jones

**_Dylan Jones_**

He messed up. His heart was in the right place, but his execution sucked. _The road to hell is paved with good intentions_.

She wanted committed, she wanted stable, she wanted barbeques and catch…and, for some reason, she saw these things in him. But he wasn't any of these things, so he pushed her away – put an end to something that could have been really good to spare them both from pain and disappointment down the line. He had pushed her away to save her; he just hadn't planned on pushing her all the way to L.A.

But she came back. Not for good, but to save a baby, whose heart was not in the right place – his organs were growing on the outside of his body, and they needed her to help operate on him.

He had built up her visit in his head. He had big plans. He wanted to convince her to stay in Seattle; he wanted to show her how much everyone missed her…how much he missed her. But those plans went straight to hell when Rebecca showed up at the hospital and told him that she was pregnant, and that it was definitely his.

He wasn't ready to be a father, and definitely not in a messed up situation like that – Rebecca was still married. So he took his anger out on his patients – the naïve parents, who mused that their son was wearing his heart on his sleeve, and who honestly believed that their love would be enough to protect their child from all of the obstacles that potentially laid ahead of him.

In the end, the surgery was a success, and it looked like the baby would go on to lead a relatively normal life. Maybe the hippie parents were on to something, he thought to himself. Maybe love was enough. But he quickly stomped on those thoughts and scolded himself for even thinking them. He was a doctor – science always trumped emotions.

He was sitting on an abandoned gurney, trying to figure out what he was going to say to Rebecca, when he saw Addison walk by. He quickly jumped off the gurney and made his way towards her.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" he asked.

"I'm meeting Callie and Erica for drinks," she said, as she took in the defeated look on his face. "But I can be a few minutes late."

He smiled and led her into the closest on-call room.

"Is everything okay?" she asked hesitantly, as they sat down together on one of the on-call room beds. "You seemed, I don't know, you seemed a little off today."

He swallowed hard. He wanted to tell her about his whole mess with Rebecca. He wanted to ask her if her life in L.A. was really that great. He wanted to ask her to stay in Seattle. But he couldn't bring himself to say any of these things to her. So, he asked her about the baby that they had just operated on. "You think the baby is gonna be okay?"

Addison smiled slightly. He was deflecting, and she knew it, but she indulged him anyway. "His parents named him Dylan…you know, after Bob Dylan."

Alex smiled, as he felt the tightness in his chest loosening. "Hippies," he chuckled. "What type of life do you think he's gonna live?"

Addison gave him a sly smile. "What type of life do _you_ think he's gonna live?" she challenged.

Alex ran a hand through his hair, as he thought about the baby that they had just saved. "Well," he began, "with parents like that, he'll probably be into art and music. I think he'll play the guitar. He'll be good at it too. He'll go off to some liberal arts college, and invent his own major…I don't know, peace studies or something like that. And after that, he'll travel around the world taking in as much art and music and culture as he can."

"Not a bad life," Addison mused.

Alex nodded. "Yeah."

"You sure everything's okay, Alex?"

He didn't know if it was her use of his first name, or if it was the weight of his situation with Rebecca crashing down on him, or if it was just being alone with her again but, suddenly, he was pulling her in towards him and searing a kiss on her lips. She struggled for a moment before giving in and kissing him back.

"Wait," she breathed, after a moment, pulling away. "We can't do this."

He looked at her, eyes still clouded with desire. "Why not? You're not with anyone, right?"

She shook her head. "But you are."

"Rebecca and I aren't together," he said quickly. It was technically the truth.

She raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

"Addison, please."

She didn't know if it was his use of her first name, or if it was the stresses of being back in Seattle catching up with her, or if it was just being alone with him again, but she found herself crashing her lips against his, running her hands through his short hair.

"Thank you," he murmured against her lips.

She didn't respond – not verbally, at least. She just continued to kiss him, and hoped that that would be response enough.


	3. Aidan Harmon

**_Aidan Harmon_**

He asked her if she was happy. It was a simple question, but it was unfair. So she evaded the question – _My brother just had brain surgery_. She thought it was a fair answer. But he didn't buy it for a second. Not that she expected him to. He kind of sucked like that.

It had been a crazy visit to Seattle, and Addison was sitting alone in the attendings' lounge, trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened – from Archer getting sick, and Derek performing a miracle and saving him; to her extending her visit to Seattle to take on Jen's case, and her verbal showdown with Derek in the O.R. She had won. But everyone knew there were no winners. Not really. She had managed to save the baby, but Derek lost Jen.

She heard the door to the attendings' lounge open and looked up in surprised. She had assumed that she'd be able to sit there for a while, undisturbed, while the rest of the hospital was still in hysterics over Derek and Mark's fight. But, apparently, she was wrong, because there, in front of her, was Alex Karev.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Alex took in the look of exhaustion in her eyes. "I came to update you about Aidan."

"Aidan?" Addison asked in confusion.

"Yeah. Rob named the baby Aidan. Apparently, that was Jen's favorite name."

"Oh," Addison nodded. "How's Aidan doing?"

Alex smiled. "Holding strong."

"That's good," Addison said, offering him a weak smile.

"Yeah," Alex agreed, as he sat down next to her. "I think Aidan's going to be that all-around nice guy that everyone really likes. He'll have lots of friends, be good at sports, and he'll be a big hit with the girls."

"What makes you think that?" Addison asked.

Alex shrugged. "I saw how Rob and Jen were together…they were happy. At least they seemed happy. And, I don't know, I just think that even though Aidan's gonna to grow up without his mom, she'll still be an important part of his life. Aidan will be a good husband, one day."

"What does that even mean? A good husband?" Addison asked, unable to keep her mind from wandering to Derek – and Mark's announcement that Derek was planning on proposing to Meredith.

"This isn't really my area of expertise," Alex admitted. "But, I don't know, Aidan's wife will never doubt, for one second, that her husband loves her. He'll make her feel noticed…that kind of stuff. I'm really not the best person for this."

"No, you're doing well," Addison disagreed. "What else?"

Alex ran a hand through his hair and smiled mischievously. "I can tell you that Aidan and his wife won't have a Hotdog Thanksgiving, because there's no chance in hell that Aidan would invite his whole family over for Thanksgiving dinner without running it by his wife first. He won't be that type of guy."

Addison laughed in spite of herself, and Alex smiled because he was pretty sure it was the first time he'd seen her laugh since she'd been in Seattle.

"You're not happy," he said softly.

Addison shook her head. "No."

Alex moved in towards her, and Addison's heart began to race as she felt his cheek brush up against hers…his lips lightly grazing her earlobe as he leaned in close and whispered, "Me neither."


	4. Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres

**_Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres_**

"She's gonna be a doctor; no question," Alex said, as he and Addison ran another round of tests on Sofia. "With three parents, who are doctors, it's kind of inevitable."

Addison nodded in agreement. "Do you think she'll specialize in ortho, like Callie?" she asked, doing her best to distract herself from everything that had happened during the day. Almost losing Callie and Sofia had nearly broken her, and she wanted to push the day's events as far out of her mind as possible. And talking about Sofia's future with Alex was proving to be a good distraction.

Alex shook his head. "Nah. I can see her going into peds, like Arizona." He could see that the stress of the day had really gotten to Addison. Truth be told, it had really gotten to him as well. And, for some reason, talking to Addison about Sofia's future dulled the pain he was feeling. He kind of hoped it was helping Addison too.

"You really think she'll go into peds?" Addison asked.

Alex shrugged. "As long as she doesn't go into plastics, we're good."

Addison gave him a slight smile. "She's gonna be such a smart kid. With parents like hers, how could she not be?"

Alex nodded. "She'll be a good kid too. I mean, most kids are lucky if they have one good parent. Sofia's got three great ones."

"Yeah," Addison agreed. "I bet she'll be a mix of all their personalities too. She'll be tough and hardworking like Callie, funny and charming, like Mark. And, Arizona…I don't know her that well," Addison admitted.

"Arizona's outgoing and friendly," Alex filled in. "I think Sofia will get that from her…you know that way even though Sofia will be smart and beautiful and popular, she'll still be that kid who goes over to the shy kid eating lunch by herself and sits with her."

Addison smiled at Alex over the incubator. He met her eyes, and they were instantly lost in each other.

"Come back," he whispered.

"I can't," she said, not breaking eye contact.

"Why? Are you happy in L.A.?"

Addison shook her head. "No."

"Then what's stopping you?"

"I can't walk away again."

"So don't," Alex insisted. "Walk back. No, run back."

"Run back?" Addison chuckled. "What does that even mean?"

Alex shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. "It means, this time, don't walk away from a life you're not happy with. Run towards the life that you want."

"And that life's in Seattle?" Addison challenged.

"Well, it's not in L.A." Alex countered smugly.

"What would I even be running towards if I came back to Seattle?"

"An actual hospital, where you don't just see one patient a day, like you do at your lame-ass private practice. Your friends – I know Callie misses you, and Bailey misses you, and even Shepherd and Sloan miss you." He lowered his voice, and gave her a soft smile. "I miss you."

Addison felt her heart flutter, and a slight smile played on her face. "I can't come back just for you, Alex," she whispered.

"I know," he smirked. "That's why I led with coming back for the hospital and your friends."

Addison shook her head. "You know I can't."

Alex nodded his head sadly. "Okay," he said softly, meeting her eyes. "Just promise me you'll think about it…think about running back."

She left the next day. Alex hadn't expected her to stay. He had hoped she would, but he was used to disappointment, so he wasn't really that surprised when she left. And life went on as normal. But then, one day, two weeks, later things changed. He had just arrived at work, and saw Derek walking towards him with a box in his hand.

"Karev," Derek began. "I, um, I was just in Richard's office, and apparently somebody sent a package to the hospital, addressed to you."

That's strange, Alex thought to himself, as he accepted the package from Derek. Who in the world would send him a package? He didn't really have any friends outside of the hospital and, if anyone from med. school or college were going to send him something, they would have sent it to his home address.

Derek looked at the return address. "It's from California," he observed. "You know," he began, as he studied the handwriting a little closer, "the handwriting kind of looks like-"

"Addison's," Alex filled in quickly. He'd worked with Addison long enough to be able to recognize her handwriting anywhere. "It's from Addison," he said, unable to keep his smile in check.

"Why did Addison send you a package?" Derek asked in confusion.

Alex shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" Derek demanded.

"Right now? Here in front of you?"

Derek shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Okay," Alex said hesitantly, as he began to open the package.

"Wow, Karev, those are nice, but I'm not sure they're really your style," Derek laughed as Alex unwrapped a pair of women's running shoes. "Why would Addison send you women's running shoes, Karev? I don't get it."

Alex smiled widely. "I do. She's running back."

And two days later, Addison was back in Seattle. And Alex couldn't have been happier. After he was fairly certain that she had made it through the hospital meet and greet, Alex paged Addison to an on-call room.

"You paged me?" Addison asked Alex, as she entered the on-call room.

"I did," Alex smiled, as he moved to lock the door. "You know," he began smugly; "I never would have pegged you as someone who wears Nikes."

"If this is your idea of foreplay, I'd suggest changing your approach," Addison teased.

Alex grinned mischievously. "How about this?" he asked, pressing her up against the on-call room door, and crashing his lips against hers. Addison responded in kind, loosely wrapping her arms around his neck, running her hands through his short hair.

"You ran back," he whispered breathlessly when they broke apart.

Addison gave him a soft smile. "Just so we're clear," she began, as she leaned in towards him, "I didn't run back just for you."

Alex gave her a playful smirk before pulling her in close, molding his lips against hers. They'd have time to argue about that later.


	5. Vivienne Sage Montgomery Karev

**_Vivienne Sage Montgomery-Karev_**

Never in a million years had they expected to be on this side of things. They were the doctors – the ones who saved babies. They didn't know how to be the parents – the terrified wrecks, who sat, helplessly, outside of the O.R., barely able to breathe, as they waited for their daughter to come out of surgery.

Two weeks…Vivienne was only two weeks old and, already, she had had three major surgeries – more than some people have in a lifetime.

The way Alex saw it, his and Addison's overconfidence was to blame. They had seen hundreds, maybe even thousands, of sick babies between them. They just never expected their daughter to be one of them. And why should they have? Everything had been perfect…until it wasn't. It was a planned pregnancy and, surprisingly, Alex had actually been the one to broach the topic of having kids together. They were babysitting Zola together, one night, when he asked her if she still wanted to have children, because he was ready now…he could be the guy who barbeques and teaches little kids to play catch. Sure, parenthood still scared him, but Mark was a good dad, and Meredith was a good mom and, if they could do it, he figured he could too. Plus, he found himself _wanting _to be a father. It was a feeling he had been fairly certain he'd never feel. But, there he was, feeling those feeling, and wanting to have a baby with Addison.

As thrilled as she was to hear that Alex wanted to start a family with her, Addison sadly explained to him that she'd probably never be able to give him a biological child. But Alex didn't care. She was the only person he wanted to have a baby with – no matter how they did it. So they ditched the condoms and tried to have a baby the old fashioned way, and when that didn't work, they moved onto IVF. And when that _did_ work, they were over the moon with excitement.

They knew from the moment the little plus sign appeared on the pregnancy test that they were having a girl. "We just seem like the daughter type," was how Alex had put it. And a few months later, their feelings were confirmed when the found out that they were, in fact, having a little girl.

It was a perfect pregnancy…until it wasn't. After twenty-eight weeks and almost no morning sickness, very little back pain, and stress-free doctor's appointments, things stopped being perfect. Addison woke up, one morning, to find her pajamas soaked with blood. Alex rushed her to Seattle Grace-Mercy West, where the doctors had no choice but to deliver the baby at twenty-eight weeks. Addison had made it through the surgery without any complications, but their daughter wasn't as lucky.

And that's how Alex and Addison ended up on the other side of things, sitting outside the O.R., hands intertwined, as they waited for an update on their daughter. Addison was wracked with guilt – she blamed herself for what had happened. Alex blamed himself – blamed his optimism. Looking back, he should have known better…life had taught him time and time again that nothing was a guarantee. But it had been so easy to forget that when he assembled his daughter's crib and when he and Addison looked at paint swatches for the nursery together. It had been so easy to forget that when he held Zola or Sofia, and immediately thought about what it was going to be like to hold his own baby in his arms. It had been so easy to forget that all of those nights that he and Addison had laid in bed together, their hands resting on the swell of her stomach, smiling as their daughter kicked against their hands. He would always insist that their daughter's strong kicks meant that she was destined for karate, and Addison would, of course, disagree and say that their daughter was clearly going to be a little ballerina. How naïve these silly little arguments seemed to him now, when they weren't even sure if their daughter would live long enough to take her first steps, let alone take karate or ballet.

Alex felt Addison tremble against him, and wrapped his arms around her. Addison looked up at him, and met his eyes. "She's been in there a long time," she said quietly.

Alex nodded. It felt like they had been sitting outside in the waiting room for an eternity and, as he checked his watch, he realized that Addison was right – the surgery was taking longer than expected.

"That's not necessarily a bad sign," he said, doing his best to simultaneously reassure Addison and hide his own anxiety. "She's gonna be okay."

"You don't know that," Addison whispered sadly.

"She's a little fighter," Alex insisted. "She's gonna pull through." She had to.

Addison was about to respond, when Arizona entered the waiting room.

"How's she doing," Addison and Alex asked the peds surgeon in unison, both rising slightly.

Arizona did her best to offer Alex and Addison a comforting smile. "She made it through the surgery. You can go see her in a couple of minutes."

While Addison continued to ask Arizona questions about the surgery, Alex's mind wandered. He knew that the surgery had put a lot of stress on his daughter's tiny body, and he knew that Vivienne was going to look even weaker and more fragile than she normally did – but he also knew that he had to keep his emotions in check. He had to hold it together for Addison.

"We're ready for you," one of the NICU nurses said softly, interrupting Alex's thoughts. Addison, who was still talking Arizona, cut herself off mid sentence, and looked at Alex nervously.

"Let's go," he said gently, putting an arm around her, as they walked into the NICU together.

They reached Vivienne's incubator, and tears immediately began streaming down Addison's face. It didn't matter how many sick babies she had treated in her career; nothing could prepare her to see her own baby struggling. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to her daughter guiltily. "I'm so, so sorry, sweetie."

Alex swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and wrapped his arms around Addison. He was struggling to fight back his own tears, but he knew that he needed to be strong in front of Addison. "You know it's not your fault, Addison," he said softly, as he continued to hold her in his arms. "We've been over a thousand times…this isn't your fault."

Addison sighed heavily. "It feels like it's my fault," she admitted.

"It's not," Alex assured her, gently placing kisses along her jaw line. He looked at his daughter and felt his breath catch in his throat. He'd seen sick babies before…he was used to seeing weak, struggling babies, but watching his daughter struggle knocked the wind right out of him. But he had to stay strong – for Addison and for his daughter.

"Hey, Viv," he said softly, using his nickname for his daughter. Addison loved the name Vivienne because she thought it sounded classy and sophisticated – and class and sophistication were qualities she wanted to instill in her daughter. Alex had thought the name Vivienne sounded a little pretentious for any daughter of his, but Viv sounded cute and laidback, so it quickly became his nickname for his daughter. Of course, when they were thinking about what to name their daughter, neither Alex nor Addison had realized that the name Vivienne meant 'alive' – a fact that quickly became glaringly obvious, over the past two weeks, as Vivienne fought for her life. And, only time would tell, whether the name that they had decided on for her was incredibly appropriate or painfully cruel.

Looking at his daughter, Alex choked back the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. "Well, that's surgery number three for you, and I really hope it's your last one because I really want you to get better," he said, doing his best to keep his voice even. "Your mom and I really want to take you home. So I need you to get better, okay, sweetie. I need you to fight just a little bit harder. You're doing really well, but, if you can, just fight a little bit harder, okay?"

He looked over at Addison and saw the tears pooling in her eyes, and immediately decided to change his approach. "You know, Vivienne," he began, as cheerfully as he could, "your mom and I have already started thinking about the type of life you're gonna have. We've done this for other babies before, but you're our baby, so we spent a lot of time thinking about you and the kind of life you might have."

"Alex," Addison said softly. "We shouldn't do this. What if she doesn't make it?"

"She's gonna make it," Alex insisted, doing his best to push his own worries out of his head. "Isn't that right, Viv? You're a little fighter…which is why I think you'll be great at karate. But you can try ballet too, if you want. You're mom seems to think you're gonna be a little ballerina."

"Alex," Addison pleaded. "Please don't."

"Come on, Addie," Alex said softly. "Can't you just see her in her little karate uniform or tutu? She's gonna be adorable. And she's obviously going to be a good student. Let's just hope she gets your study habits and not mine because, let's face it, I didn't study for a test until med school. And she's gonna be boy crazy, no doubt about it…we'll have to have a strict 'no dating 'til you're married' rule in our house."

"She'll probably hate that rule," Addison said with a soft smile. "If she's anything like you, she'll have no regard for rules and authority."

"Hey," Alex chuckled. "You should probably be nicer to me. I mean, I'm going to be the peace maker in the house when she's a teenager and you two start fighting like crazy."

"That'll never happen," Addison disagreed, turning her attention back to her daughter. "Right, Viv?"

Alex smiled at Addison's use of his nickname for their daughter. "Hey, Addie, why don't you tell Vivienne about her nursery? I'm sure she wants to hear all about it."

Alex looked over at Addison, and noticed that the smile that had just been on her face had vanished; and he immediately followed her train of thought. _What if Vivienne never gets to see her nursery?_ The thought made him sick to his stomach, but he knew he couldn't think like that. "Addie, you should tell her about her nursery," Alex said gently. "You know, so she has something to look forward to when she goes home."

Addison nodded and took a shaky breath. "You want to hear about your nursery, sweetie?" Addison asked Vivienne softly. "I think you're going to like it. It's very elegant and girly. It's cream with pale pink accents, and-"

"Hey, Viv, just in case you were wondering, cream's an off white," Alex cut in with a smirk. "I'd never heard of the color cream either, but your mom almost bit my head off when I thought we were painting your nursery white…so now I know what color cream is."

Addison gave Alex a slight smile. "I think you're over exaggerating."

Alex shrugged. "I don't know, Addie."

Addison swallowed hard. "She's gonna be alright, right?" she asked Alex, doing her best to fight back tears. "She has to be."

Alex wanted to give Addison a reassuring smile and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't do it. He didn't know if everything was going to be okay. And there was nothing he could do to make everything okay. "I, uh," he stammered, doing everything in his power to suppress the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. "I'll be right back," he choked out, as he quickly exited the NICU, not wanting to break down in front of Addison.

He rushed into the nearest on-call room, and didn't even bother trying to make it to a bed – just leaned up against the wall, and completely lost control of his emotions. His face crumbled in pain and tears stung his eyes, as he finally allowed the sob that he'd been holding back to escape his throat. He covered his face with his hands as the tears, which he had fought so hard to hold back, ran freely down his cheeks.

He'd been so focused on making sure that he kept it together in front of Addison and Vivienne that he didn't even bother to make sure he was alone in the on-call room. He wasn't.

"Karev?" Derek called out after a moment.

Alex looked up in surprised, and quickly used the neckline of his t-shirt to wipe the tears from his face. "I, uh," he stammered, unable to find words.

"Is everything okay?" Derek asked in concern. He moved off the bed he was sitting on, walked across the room, and sat down next to Alex on the floor. "I know Vivienne had surgery today, but Arizona said that she made it through it, and was doing okay. Vivienne's okay, right?"

Alex nodded weakly. "She's okay."

Derek breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. And Addie? How's she doing?"

"Vivienne's fighting for her life, and there's nothing Addison can do to help her," Alex muttered. "How do you think Addison's doing?"

"She's in there with Vivienne?" Derek asked, quickly redirecting the conversation.

"Yeah."

"So what are you doing in here? Why aren't you in the NICU with them?"

Alex sighed. "I was. I just, I couldn't break down in front of them. Addison's a mess, and she needs someone to lean on, and I want to be that person for her…I really do. It's just…I'm just as big of mess as she is."

"Alex, Addison isn't expecting you to be a superhero," Derek said gently.

"I know," Alex admitted, tears building in his eyes again. "It's just, Addison and I have saved so many sick babies together...and it's just, we can't, we can't do anything for our daughter. I mean, Vivienne may never get to go home and see her room. She may never have the chance to take her first steps or say her first words. I may never be able to walk her down the aisle," Alex choked out, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hands.

"Alex, Vivienne's going to be okay," Derek said softly.

"You don't know that," Alex said sadly, as fresh tears filled his eyes. "What if she's not okay?"

Derek shook his head, and looked Alex in the eye. "Karev, you do not get to think like that. No, you do not get to break down. You do not get to fall apart. Not when there still is a chance, and there still is a chance…a good chance. Okay?"

"Okay," Alex nodded.

"Okay," Derek breathed. "She's going to be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" Alex asked, amazed by Derek's optimism.

"Because," Derek smiled, "she's your and Addison's daughter. Your life had been anything but easy, and you're still standing. And Addison…well, she's the strongest woman I know. Vivienne's going to be strong too. It's in her genes."

Alex let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thanks, Shepherd," he said earnestly, as he extended his hand to Derek.

"No problem, Karev," Derek smiled pulling Alex into a hug. "Now, go. Be with your family."

Alex nodded, and made his way to the door. "Hey, Shepherd," he called out, just before exiting.

"Yeah?"

"Is Addison really the strongest woman you know?"

Derek grinned guiltily. "Don't tell Meredith."

xxxxx

"Hey, how's she doing?" Alex asked Addison as he joined her in the NICU.

Addison looked up from Vivienne and met Alex's eyes. "Okay," she said. "I think she missed her dad, though. Are you okay, Alex?"

Alex nodded. "I missed her too," he smiled, moving over to where Addison was standing. He placed a soft kiss on Addison's temple before turning his attention to his daughter. "Hey, Viv," he said softly. "How's my little fighter?" He and Addison continued to talk to their daughter before falling into an uncomfortable silence, each trying to be strong for the other one, as they watched their tiny daughter continue to fight for her life.

"I'm scared," Alex finally whispered.

Addison took his hand in hers. "I am too," she said quietly. "But as a doctor, I think she'll be okay."

Alex felt a slight smile play on his lips. Addison was the best in the field; and she was standing there telling him that she thought Vivienne would be fine. "Really?" he choked out.

"Don't get me wrong," Addison backpedaled, "as a parent, I'm scared out of my mind. But as a doctor, I think she'll make it." She took a deep breath, looked at her daughter, and nodded, "Yeah, I think she's going to be okay."

Alex met Addison's tear-filled eyes and smiled. "If she's anything like you, she'll be more than okay. She'll be amazing."

And she was. Six weeks later, Addison and Alex were finally able to take their daughter home from the hospital. When they had thought about the type of life that their daughter was going to live, they imagined celebrating birthdays and holidays and graduations. They never imagined they'd be celebrating the day that Vivienne was able to breathe on her own, without any respiratory support; they never imagined they'd be celebrating the day that their daughter weighed five pounds. But they did celebrate these milestones. And, now that they were able to take her home, they were looking forward to celebrating a lifetime of important moments with their daughter.

"Welcome home, Vivienne," Alex smiled as he unlocked the door to the house that he and Addison had recently bought.

"Finally," Addison whispered, as she walked into the front corridor, holding Vivienne.

"So, what you say, we give you the grand tour, Viv?" Alex asked cheerfully.

"Sounds good," Addison smiled. "Let's start with her nursery."

And as Alex and Addison playfully gave Vivienne a tour of the house, Alex couldn't help imagining all the nights he'd spend rocking his daughter to sleep in the rocking chair in her room. He couldn't help imagining Vivienne taking her first wobbly steps by the couch, in the living room. He couldn't help imaging teaching Vivienne to swim in the pool out back – a setting, which would one day make the perfect backdrop for prom pictures.

He had to admit, Addison had been right all along. It sucks watching a baby struggle. And that part never stops sucking. But watching his daughter heal, and taking her home, and imagining this whole life that she's gonna live – nothing was better than that. Well, almost nothing. He had a feeling that actually being a part of his daughter's life would be better. And having Addison by his side...well, he _knew_ there was nothing better than that. Because Addison and Vivienne were the most important people in his life. And that part would never change.

_xxxxx_


End file.
